Santa's watching

I can’t really remember a time that I ever thought that Santa was real.  There’s no moment of realization that Santa’s gifts really came from my parents.  I remember Santa coming to our house to dole out gifts but I think I always knew it was my grandpa’s friend dressed up.

When we had kids we never discussed how we were going to handle the Santa legend.  We just kind of followed our kids’ lead.  And they fell for it hook, line and sinker.  I think it’s a fine line to encourage the magic of childhood but still be a trustworthy adult.  I don’t want my kids to doubt Truths that I’ve taught them because I’ve lied to them about where some of their Christmas gifts have come from. 

All too soon my kids will grow up and some of that magic will be gone.  They’ll have bills to pay, their hearts will be broken and heavier responsibilities will settle in.  Until then I want to preserve their innocense.  I want them to become “Santa” and experience the joy of giving in secret to others.  I hope that transition – the one from “ho ho ho” to “ah, I get it now” will bring them joy and fulfillment.

My oldest daughter is catching on.  It’s a little bittersweet seeing her let go of her childhood beliefs and move on.  She isn’t quite ready to openly admit that Santa isn’t real but I see the look in her eyes and the quiet smile on her face.  I’m proud of the graceful way she’s growing up. 

Just the other day she pointed out the little camera that sits on top of the stoplight and she turned to her little sister and said, “Do you see that camera Beans?  That’s Santa’s camera so he can see if you’re being naughty or nice.”


4 responses to “Santa's watching

  • littletiger

    Andi – that’s wonderful that chickie is growing up so beautifully. She’s going to be such a wonderful young woman when she grows up – I can’t wait to see the change in her in just the time you all have been away! Christmas is going to be such a special time this year!

  • Rachel

    We agreed when the girls are old enough, to teach them about St Nick and let them be Santa for someone else. We’ll see how that goes when we get there. I was raised w/ no Santa and Matthew was raised to believe in Santa.

  • coffeesoup

    I don’t remember any moment of realization about Santa either. It kind of feels like I always knew there was no Santa, but that can’t be true can it? *Shrug*
    I tried to keep the whole Santa thing going for my kids long after they stopped believing. It was kind of funny the way they humored us and pretended they still believed. 🙂

  • Matthew


    My sister “still” believes in Santa (you remember Nancy, right?)… My dad and I were talking on the phone last night about it b/c Fish is concerned that Santa won’t be able to find him if he comes to Redding for Christmas. His mom and I have told him that Santa knows how to find all the good little boys and girls and that Santa will be stopping in Las Vegas to leave off a present for him at his mom’s and then Santa will be coming up to Redding to leave off a couple for him there, too!

    I know Fish and Aunt Nancy will have too much fun baking cookies and setting out milk for santa… and carrots for the reindeer!!!

    Personally, I love being Santa so much more than I ever enjoyed believing in Santa!


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