Over the last months I’ve torn down walls and rebuilt better, healthier boundaries for me and for my family. Some of those boundaries are rock solid, others are still under construction. Some have remained where they have been and some of them have been adjusted and re-adjusted.
On more than one occassion I feel like I have stood behind a boundary while someone has been on the other side banging their head against it. It hasn’t been easy watching those that I love adjust to the new boundaries. They no longer get to eat my cake that for years I was so willing to offer up. They’re used to me being a familiar shape and now I no longer fit in their mold and they’re puzzled and upset.
Yesterday things were said, feelings were hurt, apologies were offered but mends were not made. And now she’s gone.
I don’t know how to apologize for doing what I needed to do. I can’t explain the concept of a healthy boundary to someone I’ve been so co-dependent with for so long. I want to shout “Look at me! I am my own person. I am not the mirror I thought I had to be.”
Hallmark needs to make a card that says “I’m sorry you’re hurt by my boundary. Maybe it would help if you stopped running full tilt into it.”