Before I get too far into my blog…. would ya’ll do me a favor? If you have kids would you please read my story to them and let me know their reaction? You’ll get a thousand bonus points! Thanks!
Monthly Archives: August 2007
My goal in blogging is to practice writing. While I have been writing I haven’t exactly been practicing the type of writing that I would like to persue, which is writing for children.
Jane is co-dependent.
Can you say co-de-pen-dent?
Yeah, somehow that just doesn’t come out sounding right. I suppose I ought to get around to practicing actual stories for children. If only I had a place online that I could practice and get feedback from my friends…. well looky here…. this handy dandy BLOG!
Before I get started let me give you some background (and I can stall a little bit more). A long time ago I used to babysit two little girls every week while their mother went to choir rehearsal. Watching them was always a blast and we did a lot of fun stuff. Until bedtime. Both of these girls were (and still are 😉 a bit head strong and neither one wanted to go to bed. Of course not, who wants to go to bed when I’m around?! I finallly figured out a bribery tactic that worked. I agreed to write them a story that they could read in the morning. The sooner they went to bed the longer I would have to write. Most of the time it worked like a charm. And that’s the birth story of The Adventures of Andi the Pandi and Jaime and Niki, too! Andi the Pandi is a stuffed animal that comes alive and has all sorts of adventures with the girls. So without further ado…. Continue reading
Over the last months I’ve torn down walls and rebuilt better, healthier boundaries for me and for my family. Some of those boundaries are rock solid, others are still under construction. Some have remained where they have been and some of them have been adjusted and re-adjusted.
On more than one occassion I feel like I have stood behind a boundary while someone has been on the other side banging their head against it. It hasn’t been easy watching those that I love adjust to the new boundaries. They no longer get to eat my cake that for years I was so willing to offer up. They’re used to me being a familiar shape and now I no longer fit in their mold and they’re puzzled and upset.
Yesterday things were said, feelings were hurt, apologies were offered but mends were not made. And now she’s gone.
I don’t know how to apologize for doing what I needed to do. I can’t explain the concept of a healthy boundary to someone I’ve been so co-dependent with for so long. I want to shout “Look at me! I am my own person. I am not the mirror I thought I had to be.”
Hallmark needs to make a card that says “I’m sorry you’re hurt by my boundary. Maybe it would help if you stopped running full tilt into it.”
I’m working on a blog in the back of my mind. It’s on a topic that I’ve struggled with over the years and it’s something I’d like to hear what you all think about it. I’ve been on crosswalk.com doing research and I’ve been praying about it. Today I even got to experience it first hand (yet again). But this time I was very aware of the roles being played. Interesting.
In other news, my birthday is in a couple of days. I already have a hard time keeping track of how old I am, this isn’t going to help. As far as I know there isn’t anything special planned. My mom made me buy a cake mix today. It’s more for the kids than for me though.
Ok, that thing I mentioned in the first paragraph…. yeah, still not ready to blog about it but it just reared its ugly head again and now I don’t feel much like blogging anything. I think I’ll get a book and go curl up in bed.
Sorry for the interruption. We will now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
I feel old. Not old like “I have wrinkles and grey hair” kind of old. Just old. Maybe older would be a better way to put it.
When you’re younger you look at your parents and think they are invincible. They’re never going to age, they’re never going to get sick, they’re never going to die. My parents certainly seemed to fit that mold. They’ve always been very active. I used to give my mom a hard time; telling her she needed to learn how to have a weekend. There was no sleeping in and no idle moments during the weekend. There was always housework to do, yarkwork to do and various other chores on the list.
Since we’ve moved my mom has had an increase in her back and hip pains. I knew she’d been seeing various doctors and taking strong painkillers. But none of that really hit home until I saw her getting off of the plane. Our airport is on the smaller side so passengers deplane on the tarmac and walk up a flight of stairs to the gate. We saw her at the bottom of the plane waving and smiling. She stood there with a cane. I thought, “Oh, that’s right. She needs that occassionally.” She disappeared out of our view. We waited and waited. Long after all the other passengers came inside and met their families we still stood and waited. Finally we saw her being pushed down the hallway in a wheelchair. Sitting cramped on a plane exacerbated her back and hip and she needed a little extra help.
Something about seeing her like that made me realize our roles are slowly switching. My parents are slowing down. They aren’t the immortal superheroes I once thought they were. I’m not the dependent child I once was either. I am an adult.
I apologize for the lack of a post yesterday. We had a crazy storm blow in and, as protocol, we lost power. I’m starting to wonder what exactly are our power lines made out of here? And what is holding them up? If we get some wind and a little rain *POOF* – power goes out. Which sets of a chain reaction after the power comes back up. Heaven forbid that the cable work after the powers been out. I think it sees the power outtage as nap time. The t.v. cable will usually come back first and it will have an odd flicker to it. Eventually the phone and internet will decide to shake off the slumber and join the t.v. in functioning. And if we really have a whopper of a storm…. we get to repeat all that.
Yesterday’s storm was pretty strong but it was short lived. It headed north and screwed up airline travel for awhile. My mom was on her way here and was stuck on the tarmac in Atlanta for an hour and a half. The plane from there to here is one of those little prop jobs with the tiny seats. Poor Mom. She arrived safely (finally!). The kids had been counting the hours until her arrival and had prepared a birthday surprise for her – complete with the little one singing her own version of the birthday song.
I have more to tell you about my reaction to seeing my mom yesterday but that’s going to have to wait until tomorrow’s post. It’s 9 a.m. and everyone is still asleep. I have the whole house to myself and I plan on enjoying a cup of coffee while watching the rain.